Tuesday, June 12, 2012

Motherhood is Taking Me to New Places

Life is so different when you have a second child.

I don't know how others feel but with our first child I felt like it took months to bond with him. He was so alien to me. Deep down I knew I loved him and being separated was very difficult, but at first it was from duty that I cared for my child and that mothering instinct to protect the helpless. Thank the Lord he made us that way. Now, that love for my oldest has blossomed and I find myself just watching him with greedy eyes wanting to hug, cuddle and kiss him.

My second child is so very different to me. I can't help but kiss him and feel his soft skin. My emotions are in a whole new place. Even though I'm tired from midnight, 2am and 4am feedings, I want to just look at him in wonder, change his diapers and feed him with what I can give him from myself. Sometimes, I want to wake him up so I can nurse him, or get him to look at me with those blue eyes.

Life has changed and I'm very grateful for the newfound love. I hope with each child it gets easier and easier to open my heart. I need to give of myself more and not hide so much.

1 comment:

  1. It does get easier... and then sometimes harder again. Each baby and mothering experience have been so different for me. And love grows and grows! God bless you and your little ones!