Monday, November 19, 2012

My mind is a mess

Why do I keep trying to find myself on Pinterest? I feel like I don't know what to do with myself and I keep hoping I'll come across something that will get me going in one direction or the other. I have a feeling it really has to do with the fact that I am in a new place in my life. I have two babies who are turning into boys before my very eyes. I stay home with them rather than work. I feel lost. I feel like I don't know how to structure my day.

All of my life I've been surrounded by structure. My mom had an orderly house. School told me what to do with my time. Work told me when to be there and when to leave and exactly what was expected of me in the time that I was there.

Now, I'm freer than I want to be. All loosey goosey.  I love going from point A to point Z and hitting every letter in between in order. I'm just that way. I dislike disorder. I dislike not having a place for things. Flying by the seat of my pants does not work for me.

I really feel like I need to tell myself that "on Monday..." and "on Tuesday...". Set aside a specific day to do a specific thing. I know the old saying of Laundry on Monday but I don't know how they did it. I have to do laundry at least every other day to make sure we stay in clean clothing. Maybe they just re-wore clothing until the end of the week.


I wish I didn't feel so addle-pated.

2 comments:

  1. Welcome to motherhood and housewifery! You get to make up your own schedule, do all the work, and pay yourself (or not) on top of it all! But....think of all the joy you receive that would otherwise be missed if you had that hustle bustle job to go to every single day. I'm speaking of the cute little expressions on your children's faces, and getting to see and share in every milestone they accomplish. That is worth it. As far as structure goes? Make a list of what you want/need done for that day/week/month/year and mark it off as you get it done. Save those lists and look at them at the end of the year. You'll feel better.

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    1. I really need to make a to do list and keep it handy for me to accomplish.

      As for work, I am so glad I don't work. I could not imagine the chaos my mind would be in to try and jump from one world to the other. I don't do well with that much stress. I am so thankful that I can stay home. I hope I will continue to have the opportunity to do so.

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